The man in the background.......

I feel lately like everyone just sees me on this journey of life.  I feel like the comments and love and constant pats on the back and reassurance that everything will be ok, all comes to me (maybe that's because Kev doesn't have a facebook, lol).   I admit that my days are full and my shoulders are broad.  I am tough, I think I've always been tough, but I survive because of the man standing in the background.  The man that takes zero credit, but is totally OK with that!

As many of you know, Kevin and I have been together for 24 years!  He's been beside me longer than he hasn't, if that makes sense.  He has held my hand, wiped my tears, cheered me on in every single aspect of life.  

Our journey has been nothing what we originally dreamed it would be, but more incredible than we ever could have imagined.  Every day is some kind of challenge, but the rewards are sweet.  I don't say this because we have a child who needs more of us.  I would hope that every day, every parent, sees the sweet rewards and celebrates them.  We just might celebrate some that others take for granted.  

But Kev, he knows just how to make these moments incredibly special.  His life is dedicated to me and his boys.  Every aspect of his being is to make sure we are happy and have what we need.  I think sometimes he, and most dads, may go unnoticed.  

I know that Kev isn't the only one out there not getting the credit they deserve, right?  If your husband is like mine, let the world know, let the world see them.  Dad's are a huge part of the success of a family and the success of GREAT moms.  

Kev will probably freak about this blog post, but it's so deserved.  He is the hard work and glue which keeps our family together and happy.  

This life doesn't work without my husband, it never could.  He is what wakes me up every morning with a kiss and a smile.  He is the voice in my head that tells me "I can do this" or "It will all be OK"!  

So, To the dads and husbands who stand on the sidelines, silently cheering their wives on as we take all the credit as if we do it alone, Thank you!!  We owe it all to you, the "man in the background"!

And to the moms who do do it alone, you are my hero's!!!  

It’s sooo much more than a Gun problem!

How or where do I begin??  What is wrong with our world??  It’s become so very sad and disturbing! It’s as if, as a society, we talk about school shootings as normal news.  Unfortunately, it seems to be happening more often than it should, maybe that’s why.  It’s like we talk about the shooting for a day or two, new news comes along, it’s forgotten until another one even worse happens.  How do we get this to end???

Let’s start with guns!  If you know me, you know that I’m not a huge fan of guns! I don’t have a problem with them, I just don’t choose to own one.  I think that if you choose to own one, be responsible with it.  Keep it locked and out of the reach of children.  Don’t flaunt it around like it’s a toy or as if it makes you tough or cool.  Teach your children gun safety and what/why guns are used.  Let me be very clear, I believe that Guns are NOT our problem.  They add to our problem and we need to address the “owning a gun” process, but they are NOT “the” problem. 

Mental Illness IS our problem and it needs to be addressed immediately!!  These children are sick, disturbed, sad and need our help.  Almost all of the children who have committed these horrific school shootings were showing signs of mental illness way before these events occurred.  These children were described as loners, weird, outcasts, etc.  These descriptions add to our problem as a society.  We label people and post it all over the internet and expect humans not to have feelings and to be able to ignore it.  But, we are human, we have feelings.   These feelings can only be hidden/masked for so long, then they come to the surface.  Eventually, they affect who you are and your actions, if not addressed! Unfortunately, with Facebook/Instagram/Twitter, if someone says something bad about someone, it’s there forever for everyone to see.  It’s not like in the old days where you talked bad about someone and the next day it went away, now we have it in writing for all to see! 

We also tend to act like we don’t care what other people think of us, but that is so far from the truth.  We do care.  We want people to like us, to accept us and to be our friend, that’s human nature.  We want to be wanted, everyone does!

We, as a society, treat Mental Illness like the plague.  We talk about people and say they are “crazy”, “psycho” & “weird”, but we don’t offer any ways to get help or fix these issues!!   Their brain is “broken” and needs to be fixed.  

Have you ever tried making an appointment for a psychologist or psychiatrist?  I have!!!  First, you have to make an appointment with your primary care.  Once they confirm there is an issue, you will then be referred to the specialist, this appointment usually takes weeks, even months to get in to…and that’s if you’re an adult and have insurance!  Now, imagine you are 12, 15, 17 years old, would you have the knowledge to call all these doctors, be able to talk yourself through these thoughts and “wait” to get into the doctor.  NO!!  Kids don’t have that mind set, everything is RIGHT NOW!!  So, if help isn’t there, they feel the world is over and the cycle begins!!  They need something the moment when things just don’t seem “right!”   There needs to be access to these doctors, everywhere, at all times!

We need to make these resources readily and immediately available!!  It needs to be something that kids have easy access to, whether at school or at home!  We have commercials all over TV, billboards, magazines, & Facebook about Stopping Smoking, we need to do the same for mental illness.  We need to have hotlines, free clinics, access to help!!  This needs to be in schools, YMCA’s, clubs, etc!   We need to give these kids a chance to get better and be better.

Many of the children who committed these crimes have none or very little parent presence in their lives. They have never felt LOVE! Can YOU imagine how that would feel?  Would life matter to you if you felt that YOU didn’t matter to anyone else?  These kids are not sitting down with their parents at night for dinner and talking about their day.  They aren’t spending the weekends doing family activities and feeling loved.  Most of them have been left to raise themselves from a very young age.  They’ve had tortured childhoods that have finally caught up with them.  They have always felt like an outcast and felt as if their life never mattered to begin with.  This is a very sad cycle that needs to be addressed immediately.  It will not go away until we rid ourselves of the stigma of mental illness.

I’m not blind to the fact that there are horrible/evil people in this world, but I also know that many of them are created by our society.  I can’t believe that there are this many horrible/evil people that were born this way. 

   

I hope and pray that we can find a way to fix this, sooner rather than later.  Our children should feel secure and safe when going to school.  It’s something they should look forward to and enjoy.   Us as parents should not feel this sense of worry when we drop our kids off at school.  Our world has changed and it’s our job to change it back.  Let’s get back to the good ol’ days.

What's Your Purpose?

What's MY Purpose?  What's MY reason for being here? Am I making a difference?  How am I making this world a better one?

Stop, take a moment, and ask yourself those questions.  Do you have an answer?  Are you happy with the answer?  Are you doing what you were put on this earth to do?  Are you impacting someone elses life in a good way?

This is something I ask myself constantly.  It's something I really struggle with daily.  It drives me insane!!  I'm not certain what exactly my purpose is yet, but I do know that I'm NOT doing ALL the things I was put on this earth to do!  I have MORE to give!

I believe we have many purposes in life and may not even know some of them.  My purpose here on earth, I think, is several things.  I believe I was put here to do something that will help someone or many.  I was also put here to be a Mom, Wife, Advocate & friend.   These things take most of my time, which is OK.  These are titles I LOVE the most.

My roles for now~ 

Mom: My FAVORITE purpose!!!  Oh, this role is a tough one, but I think I'm OK at it.  No wait, I'm pretty good at it!  I'm really good at the loving, caring and affection part.  I SUCK at the discipline part, ask my parents, lol!  But, this is definitely one of my best purposes on earth.  I was put here to be Gavin & Evan's mom, this I am certain! 

Advocate: Hmmmm, this one is complicated!  The emotions that come with this are like a roller coaster, but I'm NOT scared of roller coasters.  I don't think I ever thought this would be a title of mine, but I'm OK with it!!  Someone decided to give me a voice and about 7 years ago I found out why!!  I have learned to use it and I have learned that it's my "job" to use it.  I've learned that there are people who don't have a voice, so I need to use mine.  Maybe you do the same??

Friend: I love this role!  I LOVE being there for others.  Friends are such an important part of life.  They are there for the good, the bad & the ugly.  Don't you agree??  I have new friends, old friends, and "ancient" friends (been here forever!!!):)  Do you have those friends you can call on at anytime for anything?  There's also those friends that you need when you're just sad and need a shoulder....I have a lot of those!!  I hope my role of "friend" is a good one because I could not get through this life without each and every one of them!

Wife: This is where I think I could do a bit better, maybe we all could. Are you crazy busy all the time with life stuff, kids schedules, house chores you forget to save a little bit of you for your other half??   I sure do!! I think my hubby gets the leftovers of me sometimes, which aren't pretty, lol!  But, because I have the most incredible, supportive husband on the planet....it works!

But, even with these incredible purposes/titles, there is still some part of me missing.  There's still something hiding deep inside me that needs fulfillment, I feel it deep in my bones.  Do YOU have that feeling, or is it just me?  Do you have the same purposes/titles that I have....or maybe you have some different ones? 

Having purpose makes you want to get up in the morning, makes you want to get out of bed everyday!  It puts that sparkle in your eye, that pep in your step!! It's what you were born to do! 

One day, I think my "missing" purpose will hit me like an epiphany!  It will come to the surface and it will be Amazing and I will make a difference in this world!  But until I figure out what it is and how to bring it to life.....I'll keep being a Mom, Wife, Advocate & friend to the best of my abilities!!  These are my purpose for now:)

So, go find your purpose or purposes!!  Make this world better, even if it's just the small part of the world you live in!!  We were put here for a reason!

Welcome to My Blog!!

Here we go!!  I've wanted to wait until the perfect time, perfect story to start this Blog....but I'm realizing that will never happen!  I'll be waiting forever!  So, here it is!

This mornings random thought....

Why is our schedule soooo crazy??  Well, I think I've figured it out.....We DON'T sit, We GO!! We have FUN!

Our lil family is always on the go, but the good thing is that we really do enjoy the time we spend together.  The 4 of us blend well, we have a great time together and really love each other's company (at least for now). 

Everything about our family screams "get up and go" and this time of year is no exception!  We are always up for the next adventure.  I think that's what makes our family "fun". Is Your family "fun"? Are you a "get up and go" family?

My kids are always asking "What are we doing today"??  Sometimes I get a little overwhelmed with that question because I feel like I always need to have something lined up or be ready with something better than the last adventure we were on.  And, our level's of fun can get exhausting at times, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

I truly believe that if my kids were to write a book later in life, I'm pretty sure they would write that they had "fun" as a kid!!  That we were always busy, finding new places, different adventures every weekend, with maybe a "recharge" weekend here or there which was never without some kind of outing!!!  But more often than not, we were seeking the next great thing to make a lasting memory.  Something my kids would want to share with their kids, at least that's my hope.

Think about this for a minute.....What would your kids book be about?  It's a pretty crazy thought, right?

Are you a "Get up and Go" family or is something holding you back?  Are you waiting for the perfect plan or when you think you will have time?  Well, life is nowhere near perfect and our best days and our best life adventures were NOT planned, nor perfect and we NEVER thought we had enough time!!! Getting out and "Going" doesn't always have to be something you're comfortable doing, something you've always done, or something that even sounds like it could be a good time! You just have to try it and I promise the effort will be worth it!

Just get up and do it!!  Some of our greatest memories are doing things that we really weren't excited about doing in the first place.  We simply just gave it a try.  As long as we were doing it together, we always found a way to make it fun! 

It's taken me a while to really savor the family moments, and realize that these are the times I was put on this earth for.  It wasn't to work, to clean, to cook, etc.  It was to go make memories, broaden my kids horizons, play Hide n Seek daily, to read the same book 100 times, to just sit and watch Peppa Pig for hours.  It's removing myself from everything else and giving 100% to my family whenever possible.

So, here's my advice.....Sit later, do the house work later, clean up the yard later!  Whether you have toddlers or teens, you're time with them is precious and is gone in the blink of an eye.  Today will never come again.  My husband constantly says, "We really only get about 14 years with our kids, til they get tired of you, til they have friends that take your place, til you're not cool anymore....we have to saver that".  And to that, I say "Then Let's get it all in now"!!!!  Get out there, Have FUN!!!